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Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber Review

Water Closet Boxart

Developer: Will
Publisher: Peach Princess
Platform: PC

For all the great games that arrive in North America there are always hundreds (or thousands?) others that are relegated to Japanese-exclusive launches. Western game fans have long since lamented this state of affairs and sometimes even import titles they wish to play most. It’s possible that someone in America really wanted to play Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber, but it definitely isn’t on most collectors’ radar.

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Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity Review

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Developer: Spike Chunsoft
Publisher: Nintendo
Platform: 3DS

The main Pokémon games always receive lots of love. The spin-offs, however… They can be hit-or-miss. Usually miss.

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon is one of those series that appeals to a very small audience. Others dismiss the games as too repetitive. Sure, Gates to Infinity can feel very tedious at points. But it’s a dungeon-crawler; what do you expect? In any case, I didn’t mind the repetitiveness much — Gates to Infinity offers a lot to take the edge off of that. The construction of your own customizable “Paradise” is especially appealing. You’ll spend quite a while playing Gates to Infinity trying to perfect your Paradise and make it beautiful.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon - Gates to Infinity Featured

One big thing that’s a problem for most people is the small selection of Pokémon to select as your player character and recruit. The previous Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games offered almost every Pokémon known up to that point to be recruitable. It is quite a shame that Spike Chunsoft wasn’t able to meet expectations, but I assume it might be an issue like having to create every Pokémon in 3D and animating them.

Gates to Infinity also offers some pretty gorgeous graphics and animation, as well as a touching plot (the ending seriously almost made me cry).

I enjoyed every minute of Gates to Infinity and there’s still so much to do. If you liked the previous Pokémon Mystery Dungeon titles, then give Gates to Infinity a shot.


 Pink Score: 3.5

3 1/2 out of 5 alpacas


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Dinner Date Review

Dinner Date boxart

Developer: Stout Games
Publisher: Stout Games
Platform: PC

Have you ever felt yourself worrying that you’ve been stood up on a date? If so, then this is likely a game you can relate to. If not, then it shows a pretty depressing example of how worrying the whole process of waiting for a date to arrive can be.

As the name implies, you engage in the preparations and waiting for a date to have dinner with. The dinner is intimate, with a single candle and wine, despite being in the protagonist’s cramped kitchen. You can look at the clock – again and again, as well as interact with the objects nearby.

Dinner Date Featured

This is not any sort of typical game focused on gameplay. Instead, you mostly soak up the internal diegetic of the protagonist while waiting for your date’s arrival. There’s nothing wrong with exploring narrative over actual play in games, but have that expectation in mind beforehand. Dinner Date is a neat, if very brief, experience. I just would have liked to see the idea expanded further.


Score: 2

2 out of 5 alpacas


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Beat’n Groovy Review

Beat'n Groovy Boxart

Developer: Voltex
Publisher: Konami
Platform: Xbox 360 – XBLA

Konami is the undisputed king when it comes to rhythm/music games as far as I’m concerned. Unfortunately, outside of DDR, they have really squandered the Bemani label in the West. With tons of bankable properties, they instead continually release misguided versions of their classics to supposedly appeal to American tastes. They create awful, old-looking versions that no one is interested in.

Such is the case with Beat’n Groovy. The game itself is modeled strongly after the successful (and Japanese-only) Pop’n Music. Okay, Pop’n saw US release on Wii but it was one of those bastardized versions. This game is played by using a 3 or 5 button layout to hit keys as they fall down the screen. It’s easy enough, and the standard model for Beatmania as well.

Beat'n Groovy Featured

The problems come in when you look at the paltry songlist – only 9 tracks in all. There may be downloadable content available, but people would only be interested in buying that if the base property is sound. It isn’t. Sure, the play is still adequately Pop’n style, but the music they selected was extremely poor. Most of it sounds like the early days of Bemani, and some of the tracks (as far as I could tell) are legitimate Bemani properties. But if you’re trying to appeal to the US then you’ve got to make a “modern” tracklist that appeals to current tastes.

Check out the demo if you’re set on having a Western version of Pop’n but this is probably the worst version you could get. It’s a shame, because if Konami could ever have success via a non-DDR rhythm game then they might be willing to put actual effort into others.


Score: 1

1 out of 5 alpacas


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Dysfunctional Systems Episode 1 Review

Dysfunctional Systems

Developer: Dischan Media
Publisher: Dischan Media
Platform: PC

Visual novels are one of the most disrespected genres of gaming out there. Thanks to a real lack of understanding of dating sims and games which are primarily text, you see few mainstream attention drawn to them. Of course, this all denies the previous success of companies like Infocom who attracted PC gamers in the 80s with their text adventures.

Either way, if you’re still new to the whole visual novel world then Dysfunctional Systems seems to be a good starting point. The game, so far, appears to not be a dating sim and features a story not pulled straight from some silly anime series.

Dysfunctional Systems Featured

You play as a teenager named Winter who has a new job. She doesn’t work as a waitress or anything though but instead must try to resolve conflicts on other planets. It’s a tough position and one she isn’t even sure she’s ready to fulfill. All the same, she studies (and gets a little too close) to the subject in Episode 1: Learning to Manage Chaos.

I’m not particularly a fan of episodic games but so far this looks like quite the game. The story is surprisingly focused on sociopolitical topics which is rare for visual novels, let alone gaming as a whole. This brave move deserves attention, but it’s unknown yet whether Dysfunctional Systems will attract tons of players. I hope so, as I would love to see this series continue and the only way that will happen is with more purchases.


Score 3:5

3 1/2 out of 5 alpacas


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